Moving On: It's Never Easy, but Necessary

These past few weeks have been some of the most trying and emotional for me.  I went from having the love of my life to having nothing.  Started a new position with an incredible organization.  Went on vacation with friends to a luxurious and peaceful island, only to return to the world that I thought was resolved and improved.

Today I have made the decision to move on. Not for anyone else, but for me.  I have made the decision to be selfish in the sense that my well-being comes first!  What good am I to others when I am not taking care of myself?  This is not an easy decision for me, but it is necessary.

I have sought out advice from family, friends, and most importantly God on how I should proceed.  I've been told to burn things (lol), start dating someone new, or just hold out because things are not over yet and he will come back.  I think I will forgo all of those options and take heed to something I was recently told: STAY STILL.  

It’s never easy when a significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split—and whether you wanted it or not—the breakup of a relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. But there are plenty of things you can do to get through this difficult time and move on. You can even learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person.

Why do breakups hurt so much, even when the relationship is no longer good? A breakup is painful because it represents the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. Romantic relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief.

A breakup launches us into uncharted territory. Everything is disrupted: your routine and responsibilities, your home, your relationships with extended family and friends, and even your identity. A breakup brings uncertainty about the future. What will life be like without your partner? Will you find someone else? Will you end up alone? These unknowns often seem worse than an unhappy relationship.  All of which I have been experiencing

Recovering from a breakup is difficult. However, it’s important to know (and to keep reminding yourself) that you can and will move on. But healing takes time, so be patient with yourself.

There are three things that I have to remind myself in this process:

• Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings.

It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused—and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the relationship was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.

• Give yourself a break.

Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed to for a little while. No one is superman or superwoman; take time to heal, regroup, and re-energize.

• Don’t go through this alone.

Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Consider joining a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, relationships, and overall health. Don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it.

So funny how quickly life changes. I became comfortable even when certain signs were brighter than the banners shining in Time Square.  This is my time to learn, live, and love again.

Feel free to leave your opinions and ask questions. I'm far from an expert, but I do have a perspective.

Be Blessed.